Answer Fourteen

How can I keep my cool when my child loses his?

Keeping your cool with an unstable child may be one of the most difficult things you ever do. When your child is in a state of agitation it is important not to throw fuel on the fire by being pulled into a yelling match. First, recognize that you didn’t provoke the outburst and can’t control this part of the disorder—your child is just going to have bad days. On the flip side, there are days where you have less ability to deal with your child. You are not Superman, and you don’t have to be. If you do lose your cool and perhaps say or do something you regret then regroup and start fresh for the next time.

Here are some things to help you keep a level head when you’re child loses his:

De-escalate: De-escalate the situation before it gets to the boiling point. Don’t allow small issues to be blown out of proportion. Know which Parenting Mode you are in and stick to your goals.

Space: If things are getting too heated, give yourself a time out. Stop speaking and separate. Your child may be “stuck” on an idea or on a feeling. Trying to reason him out of this state is likely just making things worse.

Inner Voice: Some parents find that an inner voice helps them keep things in perspective. One example is: “His brain is stuck.” Or “I will stay calm.” Say it over and over in your mind while saying nothing out loud.

Visualization: Other parents find it helpful to picture a lighthouse or strong tower with waves hitting the base but standing still, strong and firm. Your child needs your strength.

The Childhood Bipolar Disorder

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